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Written by Dana Murphy
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Thursday, 06 November 2008 21:29 |
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Page 1 of 2 A new trend in dating has crept into our generation's courtship practices as a side effect from the domestication of cell phones and personal computers.
These days, forgotten wingmen everywhere find themselves replaced by iPhones and MySpace.
What I refer to is our reliance on technology to communicate with the opposite gender. Asking a girl out over Facebook or "getting to know each other" through texting has replaced the refined dating techniques of our parents (ok, probably more like our grandparents.)
How did they ever get dates without the aid of a BlackBerry? What on earth did they say to each other without the aid of instant messaging?
I will tell you: they went out on a limb and asked in person.
Allow me to explain.
Too often this generation, myself included, casts the values and traditions of our parents into the "old fashioned" file. But they had it right. They actually had to talk to each other (dare I say it?) face-to-face, in person, man-to-woman, etc… and so on (cue scary dramatic music.)
Asking a girl out on a date fifty years ago was not as simple as hitting her up on her cell. A man could take pride in overcoming rejection, nerves and whatever else encompasses asking a girl out in person. This, of course, was back-in-the-day when men stood behind what they said.
Men have it easy today.
The luxury of text messaging has removed the stress associated with asking someone out by taking away nonverbal communication and direct identity. Because text messaging cannot easily relay tones or faces, rejection by text lessens the blow and allows the rejectee to avoid the rejecter for as long as he sees fit.
I assume falsely though that our generation honors the gender roles that males pursue and women wait to be pursued. This too has changed with technology's influence. Women are just as much at fault as men, for two reasons.
For one, women have misplaced their patience. Instead of waiting for the man to initiate communication, it has become acceptable for women to "make the first move." But ladies, it is a basic fact that men are hunters and gathers. He needs a good chase to realize how much you mean to him.
Secondly, women have stopped demanding respect. A woman should realize she deserves face-to-face communication over a Facebook message any day. And she should not settle for less.
I recently had the opportunity to test out my theories about our generation's communication habits.
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